25 things Glasgow noughties girls will remember…

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1.Requesting ‘twists and spikes’ as the choice of hairdo for the impending school disco. Paying £15 at a local salon the night before for a stylist to painstakingly perfect it. Asking them to ‘spray lots and lots of glitter’ over the hairstyle. Not being able to sleep because of the kirbies digging into your skull. Waking up feeling like an absolute stunner and feeling excited to see your crush because of your hair. Keeping the style in for five days until you can no longer bear the pain.

twists

 

2. Gap jumpers. And NEEDING to own the baby blue version. Feeling like an absolute reject if you didn’t own some kind of GAP jumper, especially if it wasn’t in the latest shade. Bawling your eyes out on Christmas day if your mum and dad decided to buy a fleece ‘Le Coq Sportif’ version instead. Fail.

gap

3. Using £1 pots of gels to slick back your hair into a ponytail. Making sure it was so tight you could almost see your skull. Then perfectly leaving out two strands at the front of your hair. And, of course, using an iron to flatten out the ponytail. Sporty Spice chic.

sporty

4. Begging your parents to buy you Cool Waters for men aftershave for Christmas. Even though you are a girl. Applying it regularly during maths class. Smelling like the guy you fancied and not giving a shit.

cool

5. Attending your weekly ‘Health Club’ at the local doctors office so you and your friends can steal condoms – solely for the use of blowing them up, making water balloons, and making your science teacher feel uncomfortable when you leave a trail of them on his desk. Sniggering like crazy because they are meant to be used for ‘other means.’

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6. Listening to  music ‘produced’ by ‘DJ’s who have names like ‘DJ Notgotaclue’ and ‘DJ Fatcat.’ Beaming with delight if you get a shout out on one of his tracks. Declaring one of the tunes as ‘your song’ for the boy you fancied. Writing who you love at the time on the CD case containing the music. Touching stuff.

dj notga

7. Buying a Jane Norman dress for your 16th birthday. Feeling like a million dollars in a dress that costs £29.99. Curling your hair in extremely tight ringlets and spraying it with at least ten cans of hairspray for it to stay in place. Straightening your fringe for the finishing touch. Wearing a bra with clear straps poking out underneath. Beaming when you walk out the shop because you also got a free cardboard Jane Norman bag, which you will use for external purposes until it becomes as faded as a 1994 Farmfoods bag. Wearing said Jane Norman dress once again to the next school disco.

jane

8. Hikey Dikey: The hilarity of throwing yourselves into a neighbour’s bush for no apparent reason. Jumping in backwards and almost having a fit with how thrilling the whole situation is. Getting a ‘chaser’ off said neighbour for ruining her newly-trimmed hedge. Laughing manically with your friends about how great the whole thing was.

chase

9. Claire’s Accessories: Spending whatever pocket money you have in Claire’s Accessories, Glasgow’s version of Warren James. Making sure you can squeeze as many items as possible into your Claire’s shopping bag with the whole tenner you got off your granny for Easter. Purchasing the largest hoop earrings possible. Then catching said earrings on the hood of your new GAP jumper and ripping your ear piercing. Wailing in pain then begging your mum to get your ears pierced back in Claire’s a month later.

hoops

10. Wearing lycra,  fluorescent pedal pushers to gym class in primary school despite them being the most unflattering ensemble ever seen. Sneakily shaving your legs without your mum’s knowledge at nine-years-old so you can show off your hair-free pins in them. Wearing them with ankle socks and trainers.

lycra

 

11. Saving up at least 50p or more a day from your lunch money so that, by the end of your week, you and your mates have at least £3 which you will spend on the cheapest, nastiest, most foul-tasting bottle of cider on a Friday after school. During administration class, you and your friends will fire out a slew of emails to one another, detailing where to meet, what you plan to do, and how excited you are for that evening. Once you finally obtain the oh so elusive bottle of cider, you will pretend to drink it all but really pour out half of the bottle because it tastes so vile.

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12. Watching repeats of Kenan and Kel and the Olsen Twins on Nickelodeon. Repeating the famous: “Whooo loves orange soda!” phrase in class and snorting with laughter at how genius it is. Wishing you could buy orange soda from the shops in Glasgow.

kel

13. Sweets that cost 10p. Those were heaven for late night munchies after a game of chap-door run-away. Space Raiders, Chomps, Freddos and Fudges were the best inventions ever. Sometimes you’d even have change left over for a bottle of Tizer or a Quenchy Cup. Being largely impressed when Freddo brought out caramel versions. YUM.

freddo

 

14. The oh so important MSN. If your internet broadband was cut off during a conversation with your new beau then HELLMEND. That hideous offline warning and the frantic pulling in and out of plugs and wires before he signs out. Putting his name on your MSN screen name with love hearts. Spending hours using your webcam to get the right profile pic, yet you are still barely able to see your face in it because it is so fuzzy.

msn

15. Requesting that your mum buy you a gold sovereign ring and a chain that says the word ‘bitch’ for your Christmas. Feeling profoundly jealous of the peer that has not just THE ultimate bitch chain, but also a Tweetie Pie gold chain as well! Feeling furious about the whole situation. Then slightly smug when the teacher confiscates it from her.

bitch chain

 

16. Feeling tempted to profess your ‘issues’ to the world in either Sugar, Mizz or Shout mag’s advice column. Feeling shocked at the girl who wrote in to say she was thinking about having sex for the first time at the age of 15.

sugar

17. Matching combat suits. Oh how adorable you looked in those lemon, khaki and pale blue combat trouser and jacket combinations. Buying ten different colours of shoelaces for your trainers to match GENIOUSLY with each suit. Giving up the shoelaces because you started to buy velcro only trainers. Eventually forgetting how to tie your laces.

combats

18. Stealing a maths jotter from the school cupboard for which you can keep as a spare notebook on which you will write notes during class to all your girlfriends. Being mortified when the teacher catches you passing your note, particularly when she reads it out loud and tells the entire class who your crush is. Bitch! Feeling smug when she eventually drinks the tea which your friend has put laxatives in. Always an oh so funny revenge plot.

maths

19. Selecting random places to meet your friends after school. Places like ‘the burnt van,’ ‘the wildlife garden,’ and ‘the pilot station’ are locations that only you and your friends know about. Trying to decode these hangout spots as an adult is simply impossible. Spending most of your childhood at such places chatting to your friends. Feeling great distress and withdrawal symptoms when the hangout spot changes after several months.

power line

 

20. Wasting hours playing Snake 2 on your amazing Nokia phone. Never giving up until you beat the score.

snake2

21. Butterfly tops, bandanas, sequinned, spray on jeans and gypsy skirts – all purchased from Tammy Girl. Making sure the jeans are so tight they cut into your hips. Wishing you could afford to buy the latest ‘Juicy Couture’ velour tracksuit. When you eventually get one, swap with your friend once you get bored of it.

butterfly top

22. Wishing for dreadlocks. Feeling uber jealous of the girl who came back from her beach holiday with the pleated dreadlocks – especially the ones with different colours through them. OMG.

monica

23. Remembering the words to all the ‘Bring It On’ films. Watching them religiously so you can showcase your remarklable knack for remembering the lyrics. Chanting them with your friends on the way to school. Who could forget: “Roll on I’m big, big red!”

bring it

24. The Simple Life. Watching Paris and Nicola get up to all sorts of mischief. Wishing you were their sister.

simple life

25. Struggling to get up for school because you spent the entire night playing Sims on the PC. Spending hours trying to find cheats to build the dream house, making your character extremely beautiful, spending weeks creating the perfect family, then getting bored and making your Sim put a wooden chair in the fire so you can burn the entire house. Rubbing your hands together with glee when the Sim turns into a ghost.

sims

Anything not here that you remember about being a noughties girl? Share your comments below.

Styletto Mag is a Scottish online magazine which publishes the latest articles on fashion, beauty, shopping and life. The site was founded by journalist Lisa Boyle in August 2011. Styletto Mag is a sleek, easy to access online magazine which features shopping trends, beauty reviews, funny features and women's lifestyle articles. COMING SOON : STYLETTO SHOP - Stay tuned for the Styletto store where you can purchase some amazing one-off vintage pieces, modern, on-trend clothing and accessories to ensure you're always sporting the most coveted items. STYLETTO PRINT EDITION - Soon to be Scotland's best selling magazine, Styletto will be your most glamorous new glossy for women's lifestyle, fashion updates, beauty lust haves and much more. To contribute or submit articles, send them to Lisa Boyle at editor.styletto@gmail.com.

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