How NOT to embarass yourself at the office party
BRACE yourselves people, it’s almost Black Friday. The last Friday before Christmas when carnage and public humiliation are at their peak as office parties flock to the town.
The name “Black Friday” was originally given by ambulance and police services because of the number of emergency call outs they receive on the day where everyone seems to get a bit too merry. Personally, I think it may have also been named Black Friday as it refers to the shade of the gaping hole in your mind when attempting to recover the previous night’s events.
Regret, humiliation and an inexplicable urge to photocopy body parts are just some of the things that make most people want to avoid a party with the professionals altogether. However there are many ways to beat the dreaded Black Friday. Just remind yourself with a few of these reasons and you’ll definitely steer clear of the shots…
You’ll never be seen in the same light again. Right now, at around 7pm, everyone in work still sees you as the dependant and sensible one of the team. However fast-forward to 1am and after one too many sambucas, some unpredictable tears and a ‘hilarious’ attempt to climb over the bar – and all memories of your hard-work will be erased quicker than you can scream: “shots!” Although it might seem like a good idea to unleash your Frank Gallagher from Shameless alter ego at the time – come Monday morning and you’ll be praying to have your old ‘the quiet one from HR’ nickname back.
Over-enthusiastic dancing will come back to haunt you. The wonderful thing about losing your inhibitions is that you may suddenly become possessed by the need to showcase all those bad dance moves that you inherited from your parents. Forewarning: Someone will decide to capture those Bez from Happy Monday-eque moves as evidence on their videophone. Oh, and just in case you thought otherwise – jumping up and down to The Proclaimers with your arm flung around your boss’s neck is not going to get you a promotion.
You might reveal more to your office colleagues than you’ve ever intended. I know many people whom, for some bizarre reason, feel the urge to peel off layers of clothing in relation to how many drinks they’ve had. Fortunately, I am not one of them. However if this is an unfortunate trait you recognise in yourself, then you may not want to overdo the vodka. Otherwise you’ll be wearing polo-necks for the rest of next year in a futile attempt to erase that image from that pervy colleague’s mind.
Alcohol can make you flirty. When they say office parties are for mingling with co-workers, by that they don’t mean inappropriate flirting or snogging someone under the mistletoe. You may see it as “just being friendly,” but when you start getting heart-shaped post-it notes from the office geek on your desk then you may suddenly regret playing the seductress.
With all that in mind, work parties can be great fun if you at least play it a little bit sensible. However If you are already lacking willpower to turn down the tequila after being peer-pressured to chug ten in a row, then you might want to tear this page out and pop it in your clutch bag as a reminder just in case. You’ll be strutting though the door come Monday.
