Why men love bitches

Yes, nice girls also finish last…

Dating can be a minefield. We’re supposed to play it cool, refrain from getting too tipsy on the first date and never EVER mention the ex.
Yet, despite the seemingly endless set of rules that we’re meant to follow, it can be difficult to contain our excitement for the man who seems ridiculously perfect on paper.
Picture this: He’s gorgeous, has a great job, is funny, smart and loves kids, (girls, I’m sure he exists) but we’re not allowed to text him first, profess how much we fancy him or sleep with him until after the third date. Even Romeo and Juliet wouldn’t envy the drama.
However, perhaps this advice is only for our own good, as a book by best-selling author Sherry Argov explores the secrets to winning a man’s heart.
Shocking forewarning: it doesn’t involve lacy underwear, Nigella-esque cooking skills or a tactile knowledge of the offside rule.

“From doormat to dream girl…”

According to ‘Why Men Love Bitches,’ first published back in 2002, Sherry insists that what a man admires most in a woman is backbone, confidence and an ability to walk away when he’s being disrespectful.
Thanks to her laugh-out-loud anecdotes and real life interviews with men, her books have flown off the shelves, giving light the games that men play to keep the relationship casual.
Her books have been scrutinised by millions of women who are anxious to figure out exactly where they were going wrong in relationships.
Sherry refrains from sugar-coating anything – it’s slightly alarming how spot on she was when pointing out the things women do to send men running.
Her theory is that ‘anything you chase, will run away’ and her brutally honest insight into why men fall in love with bitches will leave a bitter taste in many mouths.
If you are unlucky in love or your long-term boyfriend is yet to pop the question, this self-help classic could be exactly what you need to keep him on his toes.

“A man will treat a woman
poorly if she allows it. If she
is there after he behaves in a
rude manner, she has given
her approval, and he’ll up the
ante next time.”

Perhaps it’s a case of ‘nice woman finish last,’ but her books dig deep into the man’s brain, displaying exactly what goes through their minds when you try too hard to please him.
‘Imagine a world in which roles were reversed and men cooked for women, picked up socks, and couldn’t wait to get married’ begins Argov in her second title ‘Why Men Marry Bitches.’
Her tongue-in-cheek definition of the bitch (babe-in-total-control-of-herself) is anything but the nasty, hard-to-deal-with girl normally implicated.
The bitch just doesn’t accept any disrespect and will walk away at the drop of a hat if anyone fails to treat her as she deserves.
Her theory is that if you act too nice or too needy, you will automatically register as being ‘desperate’ and he won’t ever see you as his ‘dream woman.’
Sherry says: “When a woman is bending over backwards, what she is saying is: Who I am is not valuable enough, I have to overcompensate and work for you.
“Men tend to value things they earn or struggle to get. If a woman is trying too hard, it’s too easy for him.
“A man will treat a woman poorly if she allows it. If she is there after he behaves in a rude manner, she has given her approval, and he’ll up the ante next time.
“Men want an equal partner to feel stronger in life, when they have a woman who can provide “back up” to them.
“They respect strength, independence, and a woman who can survive on her own. They ultimately lose respect for a woman who is weak and cannot do those things.
“They also get tired of carrying someone who is weak. He stops feeling like a lover and starts feeling like a babysitter.”
Sherry emphasises that the sexiest thing to a man is confidence. By revealing your deepest insecurities and showing your weaknesses too often, a man will see this as a signal that he can walk all over her.
She says: “It is human nature to treat someone worse, if they exhibit low self-worth.
“If a man has a bad character, he will drop his standard, stay in the relationship and treat the woman worse.
“However if a man is good natured and has a good and decent character, he will often extricate himself and move on, and look for a woman with higher self worth. Either way, she loses.”

So how can a woman really suss out the good from the bad when it comes to men? Sherry said: “You will feel insecure and don’t know why.
“With a man who sincerely loves and respects you, you don’t feel insecure. Additionally, if he cares, he will make time for the woman either in person or on the phone, and he will have regular contact with her.
“There won’t be a lull or long period of time where he doesn’t connect with you somehow. Once you are intimate, if the guy goes a week without calling you, that’s your cue.”
So if he is never around, goes days on end without contacting you or leaves you in tears more often than not, it may be time to bin him for good – and start putting yourself first.

The Bitches Guide to Dating

Do
Be sweet as a peach when he phones to constantly rearrange plans – but don’t make yourself too available. Tell him you are simply too tired and are free another night that YOU are available.
Make him wait. Men take pride in things they have to work hard to get. Make yourself too easy for him and he won’t feel the need to try to get it.
Have your own opinion. Just because he likes football and Mexican food doesn’t mean you have to like it too. A man will admire a woman who is comfortable with herself. So if you love couponing and art galleries, be proud of it.
Make him feel admired and attractive however don’t make him feel he is the ‘be all and end all’ of your life.
Don’t
Constantly phone him and inundate him with texts and voicemails – make sure he does the calling and if he ignores you, cut contact completely from him for a while.
Tell him tales about therapy sessions or how you are going to ‘get liposuction for him.’ A man doesn’t want a woman who will change for him – be yourself.
Give up your life to be with him 24/ 7. He will feel pressured and think you have no life without him, making him feel you rely on him.
Mention commitment – Marriage, babies and ‘soulmate’ chat is best left to him. If he brings it up, smile casually – “Who me? Get married! I’ve never thought about it.”
Why Men Love Bitches is available to buy from Waterstones from £11.99.