https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTulCKCEedI

Mind games and tricks the narcissist likes to play

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Have you discovered the games a narcissist plays yet? Enter this monster’s house of mirrors.

 

The mobile phone game

 

 

narc phone

 

Narcissists know the power of the mobile phone game.
They use them as weapons during their abusive strategies to try and control and destroy you.
Whether it’s changing their number, putting their phones on flight mode or blocking you when they are trying to hide their new supply, these skilled manipulators are masters at using their mobiles to inflict chaos within you.
The clever narc learns that he can use his  phone as a tool for juggling multiple relationships and for keeping one relationship from ever really finding out about the other.
Having a mobile and knowing how to use it to his advantage allows a narcissist to move seamlessly through life without the stress of multiple worlds colliding.
He also understands that in a second it could backfire on him – this is why he will create arguments or excuses to why he has to block you in order to hide his secret other world.
Sometimes the narc will even pretend to have lost their phone, say it is broken or that their “battery died,” rather conveniently, when they are out with their “friends” or other supply.
Yet strangely enough, they are never without their phones and have it glued to their sides any other time.
The narc can also use this evil trick to subject a victim to silent treatments in the blink of an eye and the flip of a switch.
He will Idolize, Devalue, and Discard you using nothing but text messages. And he’ll do it all from the comfort of his own home.

 

Ping-pong

 

 

narc 3

 

 

Arguing with a narcissist is a bit like playing ping-pong.
Anytime a narcissist has to self-reflect about anything, they will immediately throw the ball back to the person they consider their opponent.
Narcissists will always blame the other person and project their own wrongdoings onto another person.
They do this in the expectation that they won’t have to take responsibility for their behavior.
Narcissists hope that by not taking responsibility for their own actions (by using blaming, shaming, projection, denial, etc.) their partner will do what they have always done-forgive the narcissist, make excuses for the narcissist’s behavior, claim the narcissist couldn’t help himself because he was having a bad day, and so on.
This sly move can make the victim feel they are going insane and they start to internally blame themselves about everything.
As the narc knows, this has a devastating impact on the victim’s self-esteem and sense of pride. This can result in depression or even suicide.
You have to stop wanting to play. You can stop catching the ball and put it back in the narcissist’s court by setting boundaries and making him aware of his actions.
He then realises he has no one to play with anymore. He will either drop the person like a hot potato, try to punish the person, or run away.

 

The discard and the hoover

 

 

narc 4

 

 

First comes the Love Bomb stage..then the dreaded Devalue and Discard.
There is a sickening three-part cycle which forms the psychopathic bond between the empath and their narc.
When targeted by the manipulator, they will firstly suck you in by idolising you and telling you everything you want to hear.
‘I love you,’ ‘you’re so special to me,’ ‘I’ve never felt like this before,’ – these are all common phrases uttered by the smooth-talking narc.
Love bombing works because humans have a natural need to feel good about who we are, and often we can’t fill this need on our own.
Narcissists are great at sniffing out people who are at a vulnerable stage in their life.
These predators will be able to pick up on the fact you’ve either just suffered a bereavement, come out of an abusive relationship with another narcissist or have just lost your job or home.
Not only do narcs target you because they can sense weakness, but also because they can observe your compassionate nature or perhaps the fact you may be able to supply with them with some free cash, holidays or sex.

But beware because you are merely supply to them at this stage and they will soon become bored.
Once they have you addicted to their false words, they then begin to put you down in every way possible.
They will pull away at first – which of course causes you to question their sudden avoidance – before beginning their crazy-making stage of telling you EVERYTHING is your fault.
The comes the lies, the deceit and the psychologically abusive mind games – for they must make sure you are at your weakest stage once they decide to leave.
These monsters will also make sure to leave you at the worst possible times, whether it be when you have been diagnosed with a serious illness, at Christmas, your birthday or the day before a special anniversary or occasion.
The narcissist will become severely cold at this stage and discard you as though you never existed.

Most of them provide little or no explanation to why they’ve left – they may even disappear completely and change their phone number.
The truth is the discard is carefully planned – it’s part of their blueprint manipulation which means they can return whenever they need you back for something else.
The narc will carry on business as usual and walk away without a care in the world.
Most of the time they have already found a new target and have been love-bombing their new interest right under your nose.
Sickeningly, the real aim behind these soul-shattering discards is that the narc is hellbent in triggering your abandonment wounds and to shatter your self-esteem and sanity to pieces.
This is so they can keep you waiting on the queue for them while they go off and have fun with someone else.
And of course, if they do return, it’s only because they want something or to put you down when you’re getting better.
By this point you will be so lowly and so desperate for answers, that they will be able to come back and inflict deeper abuse and control on you.

When the narcissist is finally done using you or getting what they want from you, they see that the situation they are in is in dire states and there is probably no way to fix things.
This is when they begin to strategise an escape while leaving the door open to come back into your life.
The purpose of this entire game is to create extreme shock and destabilisation within you.
It will make you question yourself and wonder what it is that YOU did – so you will welcome the abuser back into your life with open arms.
This works in the narc’s favour because you will crave answers to why they abandoned you and you will go into a state of inner turmoil whilst becoming depressed about what happened.
The abuser knows this will destroy you inside and gives them the perfect opportunity to hide their secrets and lies so you are too afraid to question them once they come back.
Part of the discard derived from the fact you had begun to see through the illusion of the narcissist and had begun to question them or expose their lies.
The narc has to flee in order to protect their false image and may disappear for weeks or months on end to try and retain this.
These abusers know how to strategically leave a situation so they create controlled chaos and leave you in a state of disarray.
Of course, they will blame you, and this will give the narc the perfect opportunity to create the cycle of abuse.

 

 

Liar Liar

 

 

liar

 

 

Narcissists are born to lie and they’ll happily do so without any remorse.
The abuser’s entire persona and their world are totally based in lies. Their positive attributes and alleged actions are all made up to trick and seduce others into giving them their fix of narcissistic supply: praise, adulation, and accolades.
These creatures use lies as a weapon to get whatever they want, when they want.
Posing as do-gooders or Samaritans who are “lovely people” in public but monsters behind closed doors, the narc has to lie to be liked.
Their power resides in being able to lie well and to trick other people into thinking they are someone they’re not.
Quite often they go into care-giving jobs where they pretend to be supportive and kind to other people – but this is all part of their false image and facade they are building in order to attract supply.
The motivating factor behind the narc’s lies is their insecurities.
Although they appear to be confident, smarmy individuals, these pathological creatures will lie even when the truth is more beneficial.
Quizzing them on their lies will not only anger them and provoke a narcissistic rage, but it will also give them motivation to punish you with silent treatments or psychological or physical abuse.
Narcissist’s are very weak individuals. They must lie and shield who they really are to protect themselves.
If you peel off all the lies and see right through them – beyond the materialistic items they own, whether it be the fancy house or the car – you will see there is nothing interesting or worthwhile about them that grounds them.
Lies are used as a weapon to shield who they really are and to create confusion.
Behind the narcissist lies nothing but an empty shell – this is why they have to create a false identity to attract people to them.

 

Mirroring

 

 

mirror

 

 

A narc will convince you that you are falling in love with the most wonderful and fantastic person you have ever met.
This is achieved by mirroring what the object of their affection wants. By pretending to love everything you love, by using the same mannerisms and suddenly becoming ‘obsessed’ with the same things as you, they manage to lure you in with their new false personality.
By meeting this need on so many different fronts, you become helpless to falling in love with what you believe the narc to be.
The sad fact is, that you have fallen in love with yourself, because this person is mirroring you like a parrot.
They are merely learning your strengths and weaknesses and all about your insecurities, mirroring your likes and your dislikes and ultimately using these things as a means of grooming you.
Scamming you comes easy to them – they’ve done this before with their previous lovers.
One common way they do this is to tell you that they feel like you’re their soulmate. You fall for it, because we all want to believe that our perfect one is out there, and the narcissist knows this and uses it against us.

 

 

Styletto Mag is a Scottish online magazine which publishes the latest articles on fashion, beauty, shopping and life. The site was founded by journalist Lisa Boyle in August 2011. Styletto Mag is a sleek, easy to access online magazine which features shopping trends, beauty reviews, funny features and women's lifestyle articles. COMING SOON : STYLETTO SHOP - Stay tuned for the Styletto store where you can purchase some amazing one-off vintage pieces, modern, on-trend clothing and accessories to ensure you're always sporting the most coveted items. STYLETTO PRINT EDITION - Soon to be Scotland's best selling magazine, Styletto will be your most glamorous new glossy for women's lifestyle, fashion updates, beauty lust haves and much more. To contribute or submit articles, send them to Lisa Boyle at editor.styletto@gmail.com.

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