A letter to the narcissist’s new supply

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Dear Narcissist’s new supply – other known as new girlfriend / boyfriend,

Right now things seem hunky dory – you are probably floating on earth. Sadly, this won’t last long.
You are currently in the process of being love bombed and the narc is using flattery, intense communication and a barrage of lies to lure you in as his new victim. We all remember that feeling, how special we are made out to be, how stunning, ‘the best looking girl I’ve ever seen,’ or perhaps the most talented, intelligent, funny.. the list goes on.

Little do you know it is all part of the trauma bonding trap the narc is using to get you exactly where he wants you.
He doesn’t really care for you, it’s all about what he can gain, whether that be sex, freebies, or simply to try and elevate himself.
Right about now YOU, the next victim, are feeling like you hit the jackpot and won the lottery all at once. You could not be happier.
You are happy, just deliriously HAPPY! You are dancing on cloud nine and ten and counting all your lucky stars.

In less than a few weeks since you met Mr. Wonderful and now you think you’re so completely ‘in love’ that you hardly know what to do with yourselves. You almost hold your breath until the next time you are together. He takes your breath away to just see that million dollar smile of his. Your heart just melts at the very sight of him. Already you are almost inseparable.

He might even tell you that you are the ‘one’ and of course, all his exes were nothing – even though he is still telling them he is in love with them. He may switch off his phone or put it on flight mode when you are together so you never find out about his other harem of women (supply) as he’s very sneaky that way. And if you ever do find out, the waterworks will appear and he’ll tell you how much you mean to him and beg for your forgiveness. The other women are just simply OBSESSED by him – or ‘mentally unstable’ and yet they hold down fantastic careers and have lots of people who love them.

But no, right now you are in his clutches. This is the plan – to triangulate and make you jealous with other women until you are so besotted by him that you are under his full control. The narc tends to go for vulnerable, sweet and caring empaths, and LOVES women who believe his lies and never stand up to him. Younger women are great too, as they aren’t as wise and easier to control. Simultaneously, he also used you to hurt his other victims and triangulates you with THEM – he has it all planned out. Nothing is by chance.

By now he has told you all the ‘stories’ of how his EX’s were so horrible to HIM, that they just did not appreciate him enough for the great guy he is, and they neglected his ‘needs’ and were abusive and critical and made him feel very bad about himself. The ‘pity play’, so convincing and so classic of a narcissist, but you won’t *get* that yet. ( It’s designed to get you to feel sorry for him, care more about HIM and feel protective of him, while blaming them too…it’s you two against the world of his awful EX’s!

At the moment you will be so blinded by narc pixi dust that you won’t believe anyone but him, everyone must be jealous of your amazing ‘connection,’ ‘good looks’ or whatever else the narcissist comes up with. He believes the lies himself, just wait until you catch him out and you will be dumbfounded at how sickening he can be. He will swear on his families’ life – like he did when he cheated- or promise the world to you. All empty, false promises.

See how bonding that is?, works perfectly while making himself out to be the sufferer…instead of the ‘not so great guy’ with a history of violent behaviour and abusiveness, the Mr. Hyde that he really IS hiding, and this pity ploy keeps you distracted from taking a real good look at HIM?) All that ‘love’ and all that almost smothering attentiveness he is pouring on you right now feels just too good so it has to be real. Right? VERY convincing.

His lies and false persona are his favourite weapons, soon enough, when he gets bored of you (which will be soon) you’ll notice him pulling away, hiding his phone, spending time working ‘late’ and visiting his parents more often. He will be sure to send you into such a state of induced panic that you suddenly experience anxiety and feel you are going insane. He loves this, it feeds his ego and makes him feel great.

You will begin to wonder where that wonderful man you met at the beginning went. Suddenly he is cold, callous and doesn’t want to know you. The discard comes as swift as a guillotine – for he doesn’t want you hanging around as he love bombs and attempts to seduce his new target.

One thing is for sure though – he’ll never fully let you go. This technique is called ‘hoovering’ so he will try to lure you back in with false promises and glimmers of hope to keep you waiting on him. Just in case. He likes to keep a line of supply in case he runs out – to feed his ego and false sense of self that is entirely made up.

Right now, I am genuinely fearful for you. Because it could take a long time – even years – for you to regain the same person you were before meeting the narc. Wave goodbye to confidence, pride, self esteem and sanity for a long time after being destroyed by this monster. And that’s how he wants you – because that’s what keeps you bonded in the cycle of psychological abuse.

He may come back, but it’s only to destroy you worse further down the line. Look out for special dates like birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and any other date of significance – this is when he strikes and will ensure you won’t go by times like these without feeling depressed or even suicidal. The worrying thing is, he wants you dead. The narc thrives on knowing he has killed you off. It’s all part of the game.

There is so much more to tell you, but I will spare you the rest, I think you have heard enough to figure your way out, eventually…when you need to save yourself! I just hope the nightmare is over for you soon.

Styletto Mag is a Scottish online magazine that publishes the latest articles on fashion, beauty, travel, food and relationships. The site was founded in August 2011. Styletto Mag is a sleek, easy to access online magazine which features shopping trends, beauty reviews, funny features, and women's lifestyle articles. To contribute or submit articles, send them to editor.styletto@gmail.com.

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