How to be a powerful woman

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TIRED of being cheated on, lied to or treated badly?
Are you sick of being the doormat who feels weak and like your life is spinning out of control?
Here are five ways to instantly regain power and become the woman you’ve always wanted to be.

1. Depend on only yourself




FOR women who always feel they end up in a relationship where they are being manipulated, it’s important to learn that you are the only person who can prevent this. Toxic relationships are easily formed when you behave needy or show too many vulnerabilities.
As awful as it sounds, human nature means people are always looking out for the weaknesses of others.
If you are the type of woman who is consistently chasing men, they will eventually see this and use it as a weapon to control you.
Humans sense for weakness and they are more adept to attack those who are weak – they cannot say no to an easy victory.
If you are the type of woman who shows fear of being left alone or having to depend on others, you are a lot more likely to be controlled or taken advantage of.
So, how do you put a stop to this? First of all – have a plan. Be years ahead of yourself and be stable enough to have your shit together so if you end up alone, you’re not afraid.
If a person knows you are afraid of being kicked out of their home, they will use this to control you.
Manipulators can sniff out weaknesses and they will be tempted to dangle a carrot in front of your face if they know of something you want or fear losing.
Stop being afraid of being alone. Have a plan, have a focus know what your purpose is.
Fear limits your options because you’re not willing to go to the unknown.
Take control of your life now and learn how to be self-sustaining.
Fend for yourself, accept your weaknesses and optimise your strengths.



2. Don’t let your mind control you



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Our over-analytical minds can be a source of power – but they can also be a sign of weakness.
Depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders can often be a result of a person’s inability to stop and catch a thought in its tracks.
In Ekhart Tolle’s world famous book, The Power of Now, he explains how the future and past are constructs of the mind and that as you focus more on “being” in your life, it can change in amazing ways.
If you want to understand how to process emotion or observe your thoughts, this book will help you realise how we can create better lives for ourselves – simply by observing our thoughts and stopping them from weighing us down.
Although this book is considered to be one of the ‘spiritual’ genre, this is a life-changing read for those who have found themselves battling depression or obsession simply as a way of avoiding pain.
As humans, we often do all we can to avoid pain. But what we don’t realise is the pain can spiral out of control and lead to a form of disease in the mind and body.
To really have power, we must accept the pain-body, feel it and then let it go. Any attempts to avoid pain by running away from it or pushing it to the back of our minds will only result in more damage in the end.
By simply letting the pain ‘be’ we are then able to forgive and detach from it in a healthy manner.


3. Refuse to acknowledge petty problems



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In Robert Greene’s bestselling book 48 Laws of Power, he advises people to ignore petty problems by walking away.
By acknowledging small things or people who bother you, perhaps even getting angry at a comment someone has directed at you, you give it existence and credibility.
It is better to walk away and disdain something silly yet irritating, rather than to turn it into a gaping hole.
A small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you desperately try to fix it. Some things are better left alone.
Robert Greene says if there is something you want but cannot have, then show disdain for it. The less interest you reveal, the more powerful you can be.
Desire can often create paradoxical effects; the more you want something, and the more intensely you chase after it, the more it eludes you.
Uncontrollable desire is often seen as weak or pathetic. Sadly, powerful women must keep their cards close to their chests when it comes to something they cannot have. Chasing only makes the thing or person run away.
Another example is that by focusing on a problem you somehow make it seem worse.
It is much more classy to leave the issue alone and allow time to heal.


4. Use the mirror effect on enemies





Enemy may seem like a strong word, but we all have them, or at least know people who will try to hurt us in some way throughout our lives.
Use the mirror effect as a powerful tool to make the other person see what they are doing wrong. This is why the saying ‘treat others as you wish to be treated’ is so powerful.
By holding up a mirror to the manipulator (enemy) you teach them a powerful lesson. This is because mirrors have the power to disturb us. By mimicking the person who treats you badly and doing the same to them they are more likely to see the error of their ways and put a stop to their games.


5. Trust your intuition





A woman’s instinct is powerful because it can warn us of dangers well before they arise.
There has been many times I ignored my intuition, blaming it on ‘overthinking’ or paranoia, and it later turned out to be spot on.
Go with your gut. If you think the guy is a player, he probably is. If you have a bad feeling about that job, it’s probably not going to be great.
Never allow yourself to be manipulated into thinking your gut instinct is wrong or ‘silly.’ People will try to convince you of this so they can gain the upper hand.
Stand up for yourself and don’t back down. Don’t let the person gaslight you into believing your insane when you know they’re lying. Look at the facts and evidence and stay silent and gather it before unleashing the truth. Use this as a way to strategise.
By having an invisible plan, you retain your dignity and don’t give the other person the chance to attack or lie.

Styletto Mag is a Scottish online magazine that publishes the latest articles on fashion, beauty, travel, food and relationships. The site was founded in August 2011. Styletto Mag is a sleek, easy to access online magazine which features shopping trends, beauty reviews, funny features, and women's lifestyle articles. To contribute or submit articles, send them to

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