Seven signs of a toxic partner

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Have you ever been in a relationship where you often question your feelings, instincts, or sanity?
Here are the signs you might be with a toxic partner.


You feel crazy



SOMEHOW, this person makes you feel mentally deranged.
You find yourself questioning everything and you feel in a heightened state of anxiety everyday.
Like in the main character’s behaviour in the film Acrimony, you find yourself behaving recklessly and taking risks you wouldn’t normally even dream of.
The only way you manage to cope is by drinking heavily so you can blurt out your true feelings or perhaps you feel contaminated with insecurities.
This is a sign you’re being gas-lighted in your relationship.
This is one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter, because it’s dismissive.
The gaslighter knows if they question your sanity, people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out-of-control. It’s a master technique.
Toxic people have a way of making you feel on edge and constantly on eggshells.


You’re crying more frequently



NONE of your friends can understand why you’ve gone from upbeat and bubbly to weepy and hyper-sensitive.
While you were once a happy go lucky type, you’re now crying everyday and feeling upset at the slightest thing.
Being with a manipulator and a liar can provoke intense reactions from you.
If you find yourself crying every day, you’re probably with a toxic individual.


You feel terribly insecure



EVEN if they’re not constantly putting you down, they are skilled at making you feel inferior.
A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often.. it seems to ramp up your insecurities.
They’re constantly doing things to make you feel insecure or jealous such as flirting with other people in front of you or refusing to give you attention.
You’ve never felt so low about yourself and they make you feel it’s your own insecurity.
Somehow you’re always thinking it’s your fault when things go wrong.
Toxic individuals have a way of wearing you down over time by refusing to admit when they’re wrong.
You often have the sense that you used to be a more confident, relaxed and happy person yet you’ve been made to believe they’re not to blame.


They project on you



THEY are a liar or a cheater, yet they are constantly accusing you of that.
This is done so often that you start trying to defend yourself, and are distracted from the gaslighter’s own behavior.
When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, look at what they are doing rather than what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing; it is just talk. What they are doing is the issue.


You have a gut feeling



GUT instincts are rarely wrong and when you know you just KNOW.
Your instincts are telling you otherwise, but you may second guess yourself enough to give in and go along with the story your partner is telling you.
This is a classic example of gaslighting in relationships, where one partner is using a tactic to gain power over another and making them question reality.
This form of persistent manipulation causes the victim to doubt their beliefs and to eventually lose their sense of perception.

Your partner acts like a victim when criticised



IF you criticise a partner who’s toxic, he or she will revert to victimhood to disguise inadequacies, and try to divert blame to you by creating a new round of accusations and untrue claims.
By doing this, the gaslighter can take the focus off himself and get away with his denials and deflections.
For example, if you try to discuss an issue that’s bothering you in the relationship – one that can easily be solved – the gaslighter will refuse to make changes or pretend it was never discussed.
In fact, they may even ramp up their efforts to make the issue even more problematic to ensure further chaos in the relationship.
Toxic people ENJOY making you upset as it places them in a position of power and makes them feel worthy of themselves for causing you upset.


Your partner tells clear lies



LIAR LIAR, Jim Carrey, 1997


YOU have black and white proof that your partner is lying – but they still deny, deny, deny.
A gaslighter is simply setting a precedent for their future behavior by doing this. The goal is to make their partner unsteady and feel crazy.
You are positive your partner said he would do something or stop doing the same thing that’s hurting you, however he or she firmly denies it.
This makes you start questioning what you know to be true and wondering if your reality is different from your partner’s.
The more this happens, the more you question your own thoughts and start to blindly accept his.

Styletto Mag is a Scottish online magazine that publishes the latest articles on fashion, beauty, travel, food and relationships. The site was founded in August 2011. Styletto Mag is a sleek, easy to access online magazine which features shopping trends, beauty reviews, funny features, and women's lifestyle articles. To contribute or submit articles, send them to

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