How to spot a true narcissist

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Ever wondered if you’ve encountered a narcissist or simply an asshole?
Here are some of the most common traits of these predatory creatures.


Charming and Superficial




Narcissists and sociopaths are exceptionally clever when it comes to perpetuating their false image to the rest of the world.
When it comes to people they don’t care about or strangers and colleagues, they are supremely caring, pleasant and polite.
But if they like you, then beware of their pathological envy towards you.
Chances are if a narcissist truly likes you they will be cruel, nasty, vindictive and abusive.
Narcs and sociopaths will rarely try to ruin the lives of people they don’t care much about.
But if you were ever their partner or a close companion, they will do everything in their power to cause you pain.
These depraved and immoral monsters pretend to be charming at the start and will profess their love and obsession for you.
They may even spoil you with flattery and gifts and will pretend to be the love of your life.
And they will hide behind a sweet, charming demeanor to try and catch their prey.
But after a while their envy over your success or the fact you could easily move on without them will lead them to pulling the most disgusting and vile acts of abuse towards you.
Their intimate relationships are very shallow and superficial, and almost always self-serving. To the odious narcissist, a relationship is based on what the other person can do for them — either literally or by proxy.
Then, if the person becomes ill or weak in any way, they see them as no longer strong enough to be ‘of use.’
Watch the sociopath slink away when you suffer a bereavement, illness, or some other traumatic incident in your life.


Grandiose sense of self




If a narcissist was brought up in a wealthy environment or was spoiled with too much molly-coddling as a child, they are likely to have a distorted view of themselves.
Narcs in particular may have a very intense relationship with their mother of father that borders on creepy.
As a result of this, the narc may view themselves as being above others and feel they deserve everything to be handed to them on a plate.
They will most likely look down upon other people they perceive to be ‘beneath’ them or live like a parasite off others because they feel deserving of it.
On top of this, these messed-up creeps will never take responsibility for their own actions and will blame everyone else in their life for something that goes wrong.
The narc and sociopath will rarely apologise (unless it’s fake) and they will use you as a scapegoat for their wrongdoings.
These predators will also lie about their talents and boast about (most often fake) accomplishments to try and boost themselves to other people.
Notice how narcissists always have to be busy or with another person – it’s because they cannot stand their own emotional shallowness and they’re unable to sit with themselves.


Lack of empathy


gone girl


Despite many narcissists and sociopaths taking on jobs that are seemingly charitable or philanthropic, this is merely a chance for them to present their false image to the world.
Many abusers become pastors of a church, teachers or social workers in a bid to allow them to execute power over vulnerable members of society.
They may masquerade as caring members of the community yet at the same time mock those with disabilities or mental illnesses.
I have known one truly remorseless sociopath to actually film someone trying to commit suicide – without calling for help – and replaying the video back to themselves for their own sadistic and perverse pleasure.
Narcissists and sociopaths have no empathy, no compassion and will truly go to the most disturbing and sickening lengths to make themselves feel powerful.
They misuse and abuse their power to provoke, taunt and manipulate victims – all the while gaining a twisted sense of pleasure from the pain of others. Chilling.


Attention seeking


narc man


The narcissist needs attention more than anything else in the world.
Sociopaths are less likely to require this as they prefer to hide in the shadows instead.
Narcs, however, need to have a constant ‘hit’ of supply – the attention and admiration of the people who surround them.
One narcissist that I knew, when his mask fell off, actually openly proclaimed he was the ‘alpha male’ and had to be like this in order to feel good about himself. He even wept when his male friends poked fun at his weight.
Narcs are in constant need of adoration from others so will likely cheat in every relationship.
Even if they proclaim to be happy with their current partner, there is always someone else feeding them the attention they need to survive.
While genuine, non-narcissistic people wish to connect to others on a deep, emotional level, narcs fear and are disgusted by true intimacy because they know there is an expiration date behind the false image they portray.
They fake emotions and are charming chameleons who can morph into any person they see fit at the time.
Their false self is a mixture of different personas, qualities and traits of other people that they have put together over the years.
They may act charismatic and loving at the start in a bid to gain your attention but this will slip away over time.


No fixed identity



Malignant narcissists have no fixed identity and no fixed personality.
They merely copy who they are with and who they wish they could be like.
As a narcissist has no real emotions or sense of self, they have to pretend to be like other normal members of society.
They mirror whoever they are with at the time and pretend to like the same things as the other person.
Watch them copy the phrases you say, the music you listen to and pretend to have the same norms and values as you have.
After a while, however, the mask begins to slip off and they cannot stand their true self being revealed.
Because of their extreme fear of people finding out about the real them, they have to run to their next victim and start the act all over again.
If you find out who the narcissist really is then they will do everything in their power – and I mean almost to the point of trying to kill you – to stop you from exposing them.
These monsters are fiercely protective of their image and will go to extreme lengths to protect that.
If you unmask a narc they will vanish and try to destroy your life before you show everyone else who they really are.

Styletto Mag is a Scottish online magazine that publishes the latest articles on fashion, beauty, travel, food and relationships. The site was founded in August 2011. Styletto Mag is a sleek, easy to access online magazine which features shopping trends, beauty reviews, funny features, and women's lifestyle articles. To contribute or submit articles, send them to

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