10 signs of dealing with a vindictive narcissist

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Narcissism is on a spectrum. Some people have traits of narcissism, while others exhibit the clinical diagnosis of having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
And while some narcissists may appear to want revenge during rages, most milder narcissists will not go through with the actual process of rolling out revenge.
However vindictive and malignant narcissists are a different story altogether. They will try to destroy and eradicate your existence.
They are willing to stop at nothing to get back at you.
So what are the signs you might be in danger of a vindictive narcissist? Read on to find out more.


1. They have no empathy for other people

When a person lacks empathy, they are unable to identify the cruel and often evil impact that their actions can have on other people.
A lack of empathy is the root of all evil – most psychopaths see people as mere objects or possessions, therefore they have low emotional intelligence when it comes to forming relationships.
Many people with a low EQ are seemingly oblivious to other’s feelings. They may be genuinely surprised that their partner is upset by something that they’ve done or that their co-workers don’t like them.
Not only that, but they get annoyed when others expect them to know how they are feeling.
For the most part, people who lack empathy don’t have a conscience and won’t hesitate to carry out destructive acts if they feel wronged or jealous of another individual.
Some narcissists, however, make a point out of hurting others and may even take sadistic pleasure in watching another person in pain. Seeing the reactions from these vindictive narcissists when you are hurt can be chilling – many victims report seeing the narc smirk, laugh or even get turned on by their pain. Sick!


2. Exhibits jealousy and paranoia

In many cases, vindictive narcissists are jealous and even despise others who are doing better than them.
This is especially true in male narcissists if their spouse is perceived to be more attractive, successful or better than them at something,
Vindictive narcissists are also often extremely paranoid that people are out to get them, and will plot revenge to ‘get back’ at a person before they get them first.
When the false mask falls and slips, the sadistic core of the malevolent covert narcissist is revealed.
They envy the fact that you have empathy, compassion and can feel emotions that they will never be able to. In order to fill the empty void that is inside of them, they get their kicks from extorting pain and sadistic supply from other individuals and will always be looking out for new ways to destroy that person’s success, appearance or finances.
Individuals who fall for the false self mask of the vindictive narcissist – who poses as a kind, quiet and thoughtful individual – will be left reeling in horror when the mask falls off.


3. Shadenfreude

Schadenfreude is the experience of deriving pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another human being.
Schadenfreude is a complex emotion where, rather than feeling sympathy, one takes pleasure from watching someone’s misfortune.
Many malignant narcissists may openly laugh or rejoice if someone is crying or gets seriously hurt. These twisted individuals have the opposite reaction of compassion – they like to purposely hurt someone to gain pleasure.
But just like any other drug, they need a higher and higher dose to get the same thrill.
Children destined to become sadistic learn early to find pleasure by inflicting pain on others.
This is an avenue to total psychological control, terror and imprisonment of other people.
Terrorising others makes these psychopaths feel powerful and invincible, whether that’s through lying, exploitation or emotional abuse.
Narcissists with Shadenfreude may goad their victims to commit suicide or may get pleasure from watching violence or even torture inflicted on another human being, emotionally or physically.


4. Preoccupied with fantasies about beauty, brilliance, success, and power

Malignant or vindictive narcissists may have a perception that they are above the law, should be famous or worshipped by other people.
They often have a ‘God complex’ and believe they are intellectually or physically superior to us mere mortals.
Quite often these types of narcs will talk about their future as a politician, celebrity or even a president! They truly believe they are more brilliant and powerful than those around them.
Work obsessed, the covert narcissist is constantly seeking out new challenges to prove to himself he is the Golden God!
If anyone tries to unmask them for the devious creatures that they truly are, then they will go out of their way to silence and destroy them.


5. Dominance

Although most narcissists will try to get their own way, vindictive narcissists like to dominate others.
These predators have a need to be in control and they believe that everyone around them should live up to their impossible standards.
Some vindictive narcissists try to dominate their partners by telling them to dress a certain way, by preventing them from doing the things they enjoy or even by forcing them to perform household chores a certain way.
The purpose of the malignant narcissist is to purposely break you down and turn you into a weak, whimpering mess so that you have no energy or will to fight back against them.
Victims of covert narcissists end up at the mercy of these cruel beasts who carry out calculated and sustained abuse.
Anyone who opposes their ideas or actions is often met with threats, a smear campaign or acts of violence.



6. They are obsessed with revenge

A breakup with the vindictive narcissist is nothing like your average split; vindictive narcissists cannot fully let you go unless you are completely annihilated.
Consumed with thoughts of revenge, a tremendous amount of the vindictive narcissist’s time and energy will be committed to their plan to get revenge.
It doesn’t matter to them if they get in trouble in the process or hurt themselves because they are willing to go through pain to make you suffer.
They won’t hesitate to slander your name to anyone that you mutually know and they will spin the story in a way that only serves them.
If they have access to people at your job they may send correspondence to try to get you fired by making up stories or even sending private photos that they took of you.
They will find out what scares you the most, pretend to be sympathetic to all of your vulnerabilities, then feel a great thrill when they use those traumas against you.
Even if they have destroyed your life in every way possible, if you’re still alive and kicking, they won’t be satisfied until you are dead.


7. They keep an eye on you

It doesn’t matter if you have moved on and gotten married or started a new life, the revenge is so consuming for them that they may be unable to move on.
Particularly if they’ve tried and failed at destroying you, the vindictive narcissist will be spying on you constantly in the hope that they’ll witness you suffering from some kind of misfortune.
Vindictive narcissists are forever trying to recruit new flying monkeys or people to try and further abuse you and they will continue to spy on you through social media and other platforms.
They will use flying monkeys to stalk, harass and abuse you if they are unable to get in touch or to break you down in person.
No amount of torment is enough for you and if you commit suicide, they’ve achieved the ultimate form of power – they feel Godlike in being able to kill their victims off with mental torture and abuse.


8. They use the courts to abuse you

A common tale among narcissist abuse victims is the narcissist using the police and court systems to further their revenge.
Narcissists will happily embark on years of custodial battles, back and forth to court, rife with abusive and manipulative tactics, children hurt and their lives disrupted, with false prosecutions and allegations becoming part of the fabric of their lives.
Instead of just moving on, the vindictive narcissist will drag out legal battles for years because they are simply bored of their empty lives.
They may even set their victims up to look like THEY are the perpetrators and they will stop at nothing to ensure you end up in jail.
Vindictive narcissists are like tattletale children who try to get their friend in trouble for something that they have done.
Chronic lying is a permanent fixture of a high level narcopaths, who can lie easily and will conduct pernicious tales against their victims in order to turn police, judges and even lawyers against them.


9. Easy for them to lie

One narcissist I knew boasted that it was easy for him to look someone right in the face and lie.
These soulless individuals have no qualms about lying to you and cheating on you and will never own up to the truth.
Narcissists have a distorted, defensive view of reality and believe the lies they tell. Winning is all that matters.
Predatory cunning narcissists experience giddy pleasure from their countless deceits.
Most narcs have a shady past and may lie, cheat and steal from you without any glint of a conscience.
Some might even lie about their sexuality and have affairs with members of the opposite sex.
Their lies are served effortlessly, coupled with artfully designed promises that reinforce your attachment to them.
Vindictive narcissists learn to lie at a young age and are usually brought up by a narcissistic parent who tells them it’s okay to lie to save their own backs.


10. They believe they are the victim

The most frightening thing about a vindictive narcissist is that they truly believe they are the victim.
Masters of creating chaos in other people’s lives, they may skip a set of traffic lights and knock someone down, yet believe the pedestrian was to blame.
A disingenuous narcissist shifts blame and actually wants revenge on their victim.
They may have cheated, been violent or discarded you – but they will still want to cause you more pain and suffering by playing the victim.
When you are being punished for something that they narcissist did, they are being vindictive and malevolent.
They live strictly for themselves and will play the role of the victim in order to extract sympathy from new supply.

Styletto Mag is a Scottish online magazine that publishes the latest articles on fashion, beauty, travel, food and relationships. The site was founded in August 2011. Styletto Mag is a sleek, easy to access online magazine which features shopping trends, beauty reviews, funny features, and women's lifestyle articles. To contribute or submit articles, send them to editor.styletto@gmail.com.


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